I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
