just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
