Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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