I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
