i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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