it wasn't lemon gatorade
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
