I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My feet surprised me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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