I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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