First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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