Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
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i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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