that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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