Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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