it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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