I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
