Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
