His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
