oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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