I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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