WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
