I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dignity is for republicans.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
