singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
