I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
