i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
