you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
