if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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