I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize