For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
After tacos, we're chasing women.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
