I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
