Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
