I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
