I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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