some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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