Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I need water and some morals
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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