I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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