Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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