dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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