Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize