how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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