Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
