I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.