Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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