watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
