Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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