Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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