I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
