Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize