Your mouth is God's brothel.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize