Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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