You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
