direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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