Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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