Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
