i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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