In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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