I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
