he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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