im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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