i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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