Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
