I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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