My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
