So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize