Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
